We have the Baby Einstein Baby Beethoven DVD and we use it as a baby WMD (weapon of mass distraction) when we can't get Tate to chill out and all other traditional methods have failed (food, diaper change, books, toys, general lovin', etc.). So far, it has a 100% success rate. Pop it in, turn up the surround sound, and bang -- instant catharsis.
It's amazing how the BE stuff just hypnotizes kids. The first time I saw it happen was with my brother's kids. He and his wife went out and left Jenny and I alone with his 3- or 4-year-old girl and baby boy. They gave us instructions that if the kids get rowdy, try this, this, and this -- then, only if they get really crazy, should you go to the Baby Einstein tape.
We lasted about 30 minutes before putting in the tape, and it was like something out of the twilight zone. The kids just froze, staring at the screen. They stayed that way for more than an hour, until their parents got back.
It worked so well that Jenny and I became paranoid about Baby Einstein videos, and that paranoia has lasted to this day. That's why Baby Einstein DVDs are the WMDs of the baby world -- they should be used with extreme discretion and only when all measures of diplomacy have failed.
Besides, if there was ever a better way to secretly insert programmed messages into a new generation of consumers (you love Mickey Mouse, you will only watch shows on ABC, you think the ESPYs are legitimate, you need every Disney movie on high-def DVD, kill your parents) I can't think of it.
We just got to talking about baby toys this morning so I thought I'd share. Incidentally, we also all agreed that it would be cool to get high while watching a Baby Einstein DVD. Not that we would ever do such a thing, but, you know, it might have been fun to do in another life.
Maybe it was just me who said that.
2 years ago